thanksgiving [friday the 13th: hope and chaos]

    

    36 days ago—during the election week. I went to VP Leni’s Thanksgiving. It’s been a month or so, but I haven't had a proper acknowledgement in me or to myself… what really happened… that that really happened. 

    Well, looking back. I know I wanted to come to see VP Leni and personally hear her concede. Because, to me, it is heartbreaking—the results of the election. So, that really pushed me to go to the thanksgiving. But, who am I kidding? Who on earth would go to this thanksgiving alone without a company?

    I, or I shall say, my foolish heart did. I went to the Thanksgiving with clouded thoughts. That’s for sure. My longing and yearning hearts were the ones who controlled me and my whole body to go there, wanting and hoping to see someone I know.

    Going to ADMU wasn’t easy. The waiting game was exhausting, but I had no other choice but to wait. It’s like I was stuck there either way, so I had to wait and wait and wait. I had to admit that going there with the kakampinks is indeed fun. Walking with them with pride is one of the best things. Even if the red supporters were throwing their middle fingers and childish lines at us as we walk to the venue, we didn’t bother. We’re there to see VP Leni, anyway! After a long walk, we managed to get into the event. We saw VP Leni, enjoyed the bands, and had fun with the kakampinks. Maybe seeing them having fun made me conclude that I somehow had fun. Maybe if I am with my friends too, I can maybe say I really had fun without second thoughts.

    This is where I also had to admit that I was really scared. Since I came there alone, I didn’t have someone to go home with. Leaving the venue was also as hard as going there. I couldn’t barely move and add the fact that I’m alone—I just follow where most people go; the uptc. I thought I could easily go home and get a booking. I was wrong. I had to wait and wait and wait. I thought by 11pm I could get a cab. Of course, I was wrong. This is where I realized that this terrifying experience was God’s punishment on me for following whatever foolishness or instinct I had during that day.

    Thankfully, I met other kakampinks who are also waiting for that time. It eased my anxiety during that midnight. Most importantly, thank God and I thank my parents who picked me up around 2am via cab—that was a great relief. Also, thank God, my best friends keep up all night to be there with me virtually.

    That Friday the 13th was the worst. It is indeed terrifying that I had to erase that incident from my memory for awhile. Nonetheless, I'm glad I had the courage to write it off, even if it was a month ago, and to understand what happened to me in that event, even if the lesson for that incident is still hazy to me.

    By the way, VP Leni didn’t concede that day. It was a hoax. I am glad she didn’t. In fact she fought fairly until the end and accepted the results with integrity.

[may 13, 2022]